I am Beardsace, ruler of the Bearded Man, bestower of elegance and admiration through excellent facial hair. I am he who brought down the follicles that sprout forth from the face in splendor and glory that; that is respected amongst all man. I am The God of the beard! We all have an origin, let me tell you of mine.
In the beginning, there was nothing, only Chaos. He was the father of all existence. From him came Erebus, where only death and darkness dwelled, later bringing forth Love, who brought forth order and after, came light who was followed by the Mother Gaia known as the Earth. Gaia, of her own volition gave birth to Uranus, the Sky; who she then wed and together they conceived the Titans. Their King was Cronus, ironically the youngest of their children, who became king after castrating his father and relieving him of his tyrannical reign. He then wed his sister Rhea, who birthed the 6 Olympian gods.
The stories of old tell many tales of the 6 Greek gods, and their children who all dwelled on Olympus, and were ruled by Zeus, the youngest, and most powerful. With his thunderbolt, made for him by the hundred handers for having released them from Tartarus. The gods were worshipped and admired for millennia, and known by all. All but one god, whose importance was for so long overseen, until now.
Through the Ages, many wore Beards but put little importance to their benevolent lord. That changes now. The time I have endured neglect is at a close, and I reign again through you all. With the beard being worshipped again, I rose in power and brought to you the brand that is my namesake, to live through you all. From our hats, to our Tees, our Hoodies and Beard care products....all that is offered to my Bearded Children is made with love, and for your devotion I have no choice but to reward you further as 2017 begins. Stay tuned my children.
Forever your God,